Please don't take today's lesson to mean that you're going to begin setting up a bunch of good habits that you're not used to. Yes, self-care is about habits, but trying to change all of your habits at once will create more stress, self-judgement, and failure. You will set yourself up for success if you start small and gain momentum with what are more realistic goals. And don't even get us started on what we mean by realistic goals! That'll be another time!
Hopefully from the previous blogs you've began understanding at least a little bit about what it means to be self-aware. Hopefully in that self-awareness, you've recognized some good habits you naturally engage, some bad habits, and some really really bad habits if any. For example, maybe you're good about getting in a salad a couple times a week but you notice you eat junkfood at the office and binge drink on your first day off. Or maybe you recognize that you spend a lot of time focusing on the present moment and the work you need to get done but when you get home you zone out on your smartphone all night and don't engage with your loved ones. Maybe you couch potato all weekend and stay sedentary, but you also are good about staying connected to your support system when you're stressed or you're good about asking for help. Whatever the combination, it's likely there are some things that are working really well with you, some things that are not really helping you, and some things that might be down right destructive. Give yourself a pat on the back for recognizing these habits! If it helps, write down a few habits you noticed that were good, some not so good, and some that might be doing you harm. Take a look at these habits and think about what are the underlying causes to each of them.
Some people wake up earlier in the day because they've already experienced the benefits of having more time in the morning, and that experience of an easy going, calm morning is enough to get them out of bed. Some people might notice they always have to have a glass of wine when they get home because they don't know how to calm down otherwise (which means they need more rituals--another post down the road). Some people smoke cigarettes, and while there's a physical addiction component to that, even when quitting and letting the nicotine get out of the system, relapse occurs because of a lack of good habits dealing with the underlying needs that smoking was helping with. What habits do you notice you naturally engage?
Now think about what habits you WISH you had. A lot of people might wish they could exercise every day without a second thought, or wish that choosing to wake up early was not a complete pain. Many people wish they were good about drinking enough water or choosing healthy habits that seem meaningless at the time but actually make a difference. Most people know all the "hacks" about what habits are worth the time to develop, but it's hard to get started and make these habits stick without having a childhood full of healthy habits that were successfully implemented. What habits do you wish you had? What habits do you wish you had only because you have someone else's voice in your head telling you that's how you're supposed to live your life? Recognize what is your most authentic joyful life. This in part is also about self-awareness, right? You recognize your internal state of being, you recognize what your wishes and needs are. Certainly some of these needs involve needing to develop habits that actually mean something to you, but are hard to keep track of.
Remember, self-care is about being proactive, not just about getting massages but also about making sure you are taking care of yourself the way you would take care of someone you're responsible for.
Check out the forum and see what other ladies are saying about their own habits!
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